


The Perfect Pairing

by allywonderland



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Camp Pining Hearts, F/F, Femslash February, Gen, International Fanworks Day 2016
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 21:21:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6025441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allywonderland/pseuds/allywonderland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After further research, Peridot adjusts her Camp Pining Hearts conclusions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Perfect Pairing

**Author's Note:**

> A little bit for International Fanworks Day 2016, a little bit for Femslash February, a lot for Peridot and shipping.

            “I did it! I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it!”

            Peridot rushed down the ladder and through the barn and all the way to Steven’s bed in the back of the run-down truck and gave one final, triumphant cry of “ _I did it_!”

            “Wha, wha, what?” Steven jolted awake, looking around frantically. “Peridot? What is it?”

            “The answer! The solution! The logically infallible perfect conclusion to all of my problems!”

            Steven rubbed at his eyes. “You mean how to destroy the Cluster?”

            “ _No_!” Peridot’s eyes were frantic and she looked as dishevelled and sleepless as a Gem could get, though Steven thought he hadn’t introduced Peridot to sleeping yet.  She bobbed up and down, trembling, gripping a sheaf of papers and charts tightly in her hands. “Oh, you tried to hide the answer from me, to stop me from seeing the bigger picture when once I had but a mere fragment of the glorious whole, but I found what you kept from me and now, ohhhhh, _now_ , everything is complete and right!” Graph after graph was thrust into Steven’s face without any time to read them and Peridot continued on. “How could I have been so ignorant earlier? My flawed logic blinded me from the truth, garnered from incomplete data though it was, and—”

            “Peridot!” Steven sat up and threw a pile of Punnett squares and Venn diagrams into the air. “ _What_ is it?”

            “Camp Pining Hearts!” Peridot’s eyes glowed as she thrust a stack of old VHS at Steven. “I found the missing “episodes”, as you call them, and now I have a solution to the ‘Paulette, Pierre, and Percy Problem’!”

            “Oh.” Steven took the tapes from Peridot, and, guiltily, thought about hiding them somewhere. “So you finally accepted that Paulette and Percy like each other?”

            “ _No_.” Peridot shook her head and waved a hand dismissively. “Pierre and Percy are still objectively perfect for each other and together comprise the strongest pairing amongst all of the sad pining hearts of the campers. No other coupling could ever match their sheer flawless and objective perfection.”

            “Oh…” Steven bit the inside of his cheek and looked away, then back at Peridot. “So who does Paulette belong with then?”

            Peridot gripped his shoulders and sank to her knees, stars in her eyes, as she whispered a single, fervent name: “ _Pénélope_.”


End file.
